Choosing and Living with Roommates.

Gigi Varakarn
Jun 5
3 min read

Whether you’re moving off-campus for the first time or looking to fill an empty bedroom in your apartment, living with roommates is one of the most common—and sometimes challenging—parts of student life. The right roommate can become a lifelong friend. The wrong one? A daily source of stress.

Here’s everything you need to know about choosing a roommate and how to actually live together peacefully once the lease is signed.

Step 1: Finding the Right Roommate

Finding a roommate is a lot like dating—it’s all about compatibility, communication, and mutual respect. Here’s how to start:

1. Look in the Right Places

Use your school’s housing platform or roommate finder tools.
Using @uclauniverse_housing on Instagram to find housing near campus and also to find roommates.

2. Ask the Right Questions

Before you commit to living with someone, ask a few key questions:

What’s your daily schedule like?
Are you neat or messy?
Do you like having guests over?
What’s your approach to chores and bills?
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
What’s your study or sleep routine?

You don’t have to be identical—but knowing how your lifestyles align (or don’t) helps avoid future conflict.

3. Discuss Dealbreakers Early

Everyone has at least one. Whether it’s loud music late at night, smoking, or borrowing things without asking, be honest about your non-negotiables—and ask theirs too.

Step 2: Setting Expectations from Day One

Once you've found your roommate(s), take time to set expectations before move-in day. It may feel awkward, but these conversations can save your friendship—and your sanity—down the line.

1. Create a Roommate Agreement

Even if it’s informal, writing things down helps everyone stay accountable. Cover:

Cleaning responsibilities
Shared vs. personal items
Guests and overnight visitors
Quiet hours
Rent and bill payment responsibilities

You don’t need a lawyer—just a shared understanding.

2. Plan for Shared Costs

Decide early on how you’ll handle bills, groceries, and shared items like toilet paper and cleaning supplies. Will you split everything evenly? Use an app like Splitwise or Venmo to keep things organized.

Step 3: Living Together Peacefully

Sharing a space isn’t always easy, but with mutual respect and open communication, it can be one of the best parts of your student experience.

1. Respect Shared Spaces

Your room might be your kingdom, but the kitchen, bathroom, and living area are shared. Clean up after yourself and don’t hog the space. A little consideration goes a long way.

2. Communicate (Don’t Let Things Fester)

If something is bothering you, talk about it sooner rather than later. Avoid passive-aggressive notes or letting resentment build. Approach conversations calmly, and focus on solving the problem—not assigning blame.

Example: Instead of saying, “You never clean anything!” Try: “Hey, I’ve noticed the dishes have been piling up. Can we come up with a better plan for keeping the kitchen clean?”

3. Celebrate the Wins

Roommate relationships don’t have to be all business. Make time to hang out occasionally—grab dinner, watch a movie, or host a chill night in. Shared experiences can build trust and make your home feel more like… home.

Step 4: When It’s Not Working Out

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, living with someone just doesn’t work out. Maybe you have wildly different lifestyles, or maybe there’s a serious conflict.

Know Your Options:

Talk to your landlord or housing office about possible solutions.
Consider mediation if you’re both willing to work through the issues.
In extreme cases, one of you may need to find another place to live. This is why it’s smart to understand the lease terms before signing—can someone sublet or break the lease?

Remember: it’s okay if you’re not best friends with your roommate. The goal is to live together respectfully, not be inseparable.